Spam of the Month

And now, the first in a new series here at GHS: Spam of the Month.

There are millions and millions of unsolicited e-mails sent every day. Some manage to rise above the crowd. These are those stories:

From Mrs. Aminatu Abubaka Arikama. [Buba for short]

Dear, [Yes, sweetheart?]

I am Mrs Aminatu Abubaka Arikama, from Sierra Leone republic, residing in Cote d'Ivoire. I am married to Mr Abubaka Arikama, who deals in Cocoa and Gold business in Cote d'Ivoire for twenty five years before he died in the year 2002. We were married for twenty years and God give us a son, his name is Abubaka Usman Arikama Jr who is 22 now, and because of my husband love to me he refused to marry another wife [Huh?!?]. He died after a brief illness
from food poison which lasted for only four days [must have been some of that time release food poison]. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get another child outside my matrimonial home [how noble!], my husband relatives was responsible for his death because they want to inherit the entire legacy, I was ill and my son is still a little boy [Little? I thought he was 22?].

Before the death of my husband he deposited a huge amount in a suspense [Oh, the suspense!]account with a bank here in Cote d Ivoire [Of course he did], Since my Doctor told me that I have a little time left (about Six months) due to cancer problem [Christ, you have cancer too? This has not been your year!]. Having known my condition and I can not survive this cancer illness, and I don't want to lose my only son, I decided to transfer this fund and my son out of this country.

I took this decision because I don't want to lose every thing my husband has worked for, and my husband relatives are not even good at all because they are responsible for the death of my husband in other to have all his properties and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by those that conspired for his death [Yeah, only non-conspirators and complete strangers on the Internet need aply!] and they will still kill my son if they have the opportunity.

Contact me only on email address; as soon as I receive your reply of accepting to help me I will give you all the details including your percentage for assisting us.

Thanks.

May God be with you.

From Mrs. Aminatu Arikama

I guess the Ethiopians resolved all of their banking issues, since I haven't gotten one of their e-mails in a long time.

Dave Cockrum: 1943 - 2006

Sad news today. Dave Cockrum, the man who gave the Uncanny X-Men a second chance at life, passed away on November 26 after a long battle with diabetes:

The artist laid the groundwork for an unparalleled comic book success story when, in 1975, he launched the "new" X-Men alongside writer Len Wein and editor Roy Thomas. GIANT-SIZE X-MEN #1 and the reinvigorated UNCANNY X-MEN grew to legendary status, the impact of which is still felt in today's comic world. Cockrum's first tour of duty with the characters was from 1975 to 1977, and he then returned to his creations from 1981 until 1983.

The man created Colossus, Storm, Phoenix, Mystique, and Nightcrawler - featured most prominently in the last X-Men movie. That, my friends, is what we call a legacy.

The AP story adds a couple of nice details, sure to resonate with any true fanboy:

In his Superman pajamas and with his Batman blanket, Cockrum died in his favorite chair at his home in Belton, S.C., early Sunday morning.

The article also mentions that Cockrum will be cremated wearing a Green Lantern t-shirt.

Cockrum's passing also brings attention to a long-standing stain on the comics industry, the issue of creator's rights. For years, creators of a lot of comics most popular characters received little or nothing in the way of recognition or royalties for their work, even though their creations went on to make millions for the publishing companies. Sadly, Dave Cockrum found himself in the same situation. Fortunately for him, writer Clifford Meth and comics legend Neal Adams petitioned Marvel Comics to do the right thing, which they eventually did.

A nice little tribute site can be found here.

Kramer Apologizes

Following his tirade against some black hecklers at The Laugh Factory the other night, Michael Richards has apologized for his behavior.

On the Letterman Show.

Jerry Seinfeld was a guest on the show, and he asked Richards to appear to discuss the issue (Richards appeared on a screen, not in person). I didn't see the show or watch the apology, but from what I'm reading Richards went off on more than one tangent. His sincerity is entirely dependent on whether you're inclined to give his a break or not.

Kramer.

TMZ.com has video of Michael Richards - Kramer from Seinfeld fame - losing his mind at some hecklers who interrupted his comedy routine at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles.

The hecklers were black. Richards make a reference to lynching, after which he called the heckler a "nigger". Seven times. Loudly.

In the video, you can hear someone challenging Richards on his behavior, saying it was "uncalled for". It also shows the majority of the crowd begin to get up and leave, including the hecklers. Richards begins taunting them as they leave.

The entire incident is very surreal, made even more so by the fact that it's Kramer! I didn't see that one coming. Now, of course, the usual suspects will weigh in. Conventional wisdom says that Richards' career is "over".

I'm sure some would argue his career was over when Seinfeld went off the air, but that's another issue.

More on the UCLA Tasering Incident

Michelle Malkin, Ace, and Allah have weighed in on the tasering story.

Michelle is taking her usual measured, "let's wait and hear the whole story" stance, while Ace and Allah question the cops' decision to taser the student.

Naturally, the tasee has lawyered up - and as Michelle points out, a whole crowd of civil rights groups are siding with him, most noticeably CAIR. Interestingly, Tasee's lawyer has his own baggage, as Patterico points out:

The best part: the “high-profile civil rights lawyer” is Stephen Yagman, currently under indictment for money laundering and tax evasion.

Both Ace and Allah quote witnesses who state that, althought the use of tasers may have been excessive, Tasee was definitely either making trouble or was someone who would not be opposed to making trouble:

Let me start off by saying that the guy DEFINITELY was asking to get his ass kicked. He was being extremely rude with the campus patrol guys (who are college students...this was before the real UCPD got called in). He was not complying with their requests to leave the premises, and he was definitely itching for a fight. I actually know the guy and a few of his friends, and I can tell you that he's the kind of guy that loves to make trouble.

Just as a little backstory, one of the quotes the guy has on his facebook (which he now has taken down) was "I like to find the most difficult solutions to the simplest of problems".

He definitely taunted the UCPD into behaving the way they did with him.

I'm a little disappointed in Ace's moderation. Personally, from what I heard in the video and what I've read online, Tasee is just the kind of little bitch who would try to make a point about his precious "civil liberties" and have it go down this way. Bottom line, if he had just left the library when he was first asked to, therefore aoviding the need to call the campus police, his protesting ass would have remained taser-free. I would have, because for me, rules are rules and legitimate authority is just that. Does that mean Tasee got what he deserved? I suppose that depends on how you define "excessive force". In my opinion, one of the cops shooting Tasee in the leg is excessive; tasering him on drive mode to put an end to his little protest and diffuse a potential escalation by other concerned, socially aware citizens is not.

We live in a very different world than that of just a few years ago. A world where "ordinary" American citizens are capable of...who knows what? Where bizarre and questionable incidents take place on college campuses all of the time. Where the unthinkable can come from out of nowhere and change everything in an instant.

In this kind of world, perhaps the type of excessive force used by these campus police may be the difference between an "incident" and a "tragedy".

The End of an Era

I'm in mourning today. I just learned of the passing of a very, very old friend.

WKLS FM, 96Rock in Atlanta, GA.

Yes, that's right, a radio station. But not just any radio station. 96Rock was the station for me and my friends during late elementary school, all of high school, and during college. That's a lot of years out of my life, so I suppose I'm also mourning my lost youth, and the memories of happier, simpler times.

96Rock was there for me when I first began to discover and explore my own awareness of music. Remember arguing with your parents over what station would be playing on the car radio? Well, 96Rock was always my choice.

As the name implied, 96Rock was Atlanta's home of rock n roll. In the early 80's, a lot of the heavier stuff got played - Ozzy, Iron Maiden, Nazareth, AC/DC, all in their album-oriented glory. Then, a TV commercial featuring Paul Schaeffer announcing that "our voices had been heard. Enough of the heavy stuff!" From then on, it was a steady mix of the Clash, Aerosmith, The Cars, The Police, plus all of the classic stuff (Led Zep, The Who, Stones, Beatles). I was exposed to everything that made rock great during those days - the best of the British Invasion, the supergroups of the 70's, Southern Fried rock, plus all of the newest mainstream goodness. Back then, you didn't just listen to the music, you lived it, you loved it. I think that's what made the AOR format so great - you didn't just hear what was popular, you heard what was good (at least in the DJ's opinion), and it was never the same. During those days, 96Rock provided the soundtrack to my life.

I can still remember hanging out in my room at night, the lights off, just laying there listening to Willard spin the "Perfect Album Side"...

Listening to Kaedy Kiely in the afternoons. Kaedy has forgotten more about rock music than most people will ever know. I had a huge crush on her...

The Friday 5:00 Whistle. The official end of the week for a lot of years. Once those songs started playing, you knew the weekend was officially here...

Christopher Rude in the mornings always made me laugh...

Honestly, Pink Floyd and Comfortably Numb would have meant nothing to me without 96Rock.

It's no secret that radio has seen better days. With competition from the Internet and IPods, radio stations have had to struggle to stay profitable. Unfortunately, the best business decisions are rarely the best programming decisions, which is why a great legacy station like 96Rock had to die its slow death. A regular poster on the Radio-Info site sums it up nicely:

Radio is no longer flesh and blood; it’s becoming a playlist on a media server connected to an antenna run by suits. Nothing lasts forever. RIP 96Rock.

I suppose I'm part of the problem myself. My intense hatred of what passes for today's "popular" music has kept me listening to a steady diet of talk radio and my IPod for years. It's not that I haven't wanted to listen to 96Rock, it's just that I've long since gotten out of the habit of relying on radio for my musical entertainment. It's okay, though. Today's 96Rock is certainly not the same glorious station I listened to in my youth. Those days are truly gone. However, I would liked to have been listening as the station breathed its last. I understand the last song played was Baba O'Riley by The Who.

Which, by the way, was the very first song ever played on 96Rock.

So we have come full circle, and it's nice that someone thought to end it on that note, rather than just playing the next song in the rotation. It's nice that someone remembered.

And of course, those of us in the teenage wasteland will never forget.

The Taser Incident

The net is buzzing about an Iranian-American UCLA student getting tasered by campus police at the library:

Mostafa Tabatabainejad, a UCLA student, was repeatedly stunned with a Taser and then taken into custody when he did not exit the CLICC Lab in Powell Library in a timely manner. Community Service Officers had asked Tabatabainejad to leave after he failed to produce his BruinCard during a random check at around 11:30 p.m. Tuesday.

Naturally, a concerned citizen with a cellphone camera caught the incident on video. YouTube, anyone?



"Here's your Patriot Act! Here's your fucking abuse of power!"

Now, I don't want to get all knee-jerk here, but if I get tasered by some cop, I'm not going to be making political statements. I'm going to be pretty much doing whatever I have to to avoid another shock. But that's just me.

I know this is going to get a lot of play over the next few days, with the inevitable blaming of President Bush for the whole thing. From what I saw, the student was being unresponsive to the officers' commands and argumentative. Plus, the whole "Patriot Act" comment really makes me wonder if this wasn't a bit of planned street theatre.

I know, I know, but I find it hard to put anything past the "socially aware".

By the way, here's a video of someone getting tasered who doesn't have a comment to make about the Patriot Act or abuses of power. Please note the lack of hysterical screaming.

People Are Crazy

Fergie, female singer for the Black Eyed Peas, recently said that anyone who insults her singing is actually insulting God:

“I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing,” the white hip-hopper told Vibe. “You can’t take that away from me, ‘cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can’t sing, it’s kind of like insulting God.”

When asked for comment, God replied "In Fergie's case, it was actually a gag gift."

Election Night...Not Looking Good

It's about 9:40, and I'm flipping channels between election results on
Fox News and Star Trek:TNG.

Right now, the Dems are 3 Senate seats and 13 House seats from taking it all.

We may end up losing it all.

If so, it'll suck getting up tomorrow.

K-Fed Bocomes Fed-Ex!

Man, no sooner do I put up a little post about Kevin Federline's dismal concert appearance, than this hits the news: Britney Spears Files For Divorce!

In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.

I'm fairly certain that K-Fed has soiled himself over all of this. I can't even begin to imagine what is running through his head right now.

K-Fed In Da House...By Himself!

Poor K-Fed! The road to rap superstardom is fraught with potholes:

K-Fed plays to an almost empty house
Wannabe rapper has to beg club not to cancel his concert

C'mon, you knew this was coming when he first announced his "tour"

K-Fed’s New York City gig at Webster Hall wasn’t cancelled as some predicted — but it reportedly took some big-time begging on his part.

Begging. Begging. Heh.

Only 300 people showed up at the club that holds 1,500.

For me, the real story is not that 1,200 hundred people didn't show up, but that 300 people actually did. Was this a free concert by chance? Oh yeah, K-Fed kept those 300 fools waiting for three hours hoping more "fans" would show up. For that, they got to see K-Fed rap for all of 30 minutes, in a performance described as "mercifully short". One witness claimed that Federline

seemed really confused about how to act on stage. He would pace from one side of the stage to the other, just saying things like, ‘Hey’ thirty times in a row or ‘New York, thank you for coming — buy my CD.'

I think it's obvious K-Fed is confused about many, many things.

K-Fed doing his "thang"

Cry Havok, And Let Slip The Dogs Of War

At last, The Day is upon us.

In about twelve hours, we'll have a pretty good idea of how this thing will turn out.

Judgement Da - er, I mean - Election Day!

I'm nervous, but hopeful. On some level, I just can't believe the cosmic powers, those that bring order and balance to the Universe, would actually allow the Democrats to win. I mean come on, Speaker Pelosi?!? God, that would be a Hell on earth.

I hope when this is all done, I'll have good cause to revisit this little post.

Once again, Ace of Spades is in my brain:

If the Democrats lose, do you have any doubt they will decide, in their typically-thoughtful Councils of Herd Animals, that John Kerry alone cost them the entire election?

Damn... even if I hated Bush I'd vote Republican just for that.

After the 2002 election disaster for the Democrats (remember? they were counting on big wins then, too) William Kristol said, "And now comes the most enjoyable part of any election season: the recriminations."

Please vote, just so we can have those recriminations.

Do you know what Chris Matthews' tears taste like? I don't, but I've heard stories they taste like gold spun finely into cotton candy. I need to know if those stories are true.

Heh. Amen to that!

I'll be voting tonight after work. Until then, I'll be tracking the excitement all day.

Bill Maher Is A Putz

From Perez Hilton:

"Stop hassling me about my Halloween costume. Yes, you've seen it on the internet. I went as the Crocodile Hunter with a bloody stinger in my chest. People who really love animals understand if you get killed by one, chances are you were doing something to it you shouldn't have been. You want me to apologise for making a joke? Who do you think I am, John Kerry?"

Translation: "I'm yet another in a long string of whiny, liberal asses who thinks I can do whatever I want - no matter how tasteless or inapproriate - and get away with it. As a liberal, I'm naturally better than you, and will therefore not be held hostage by your mundane sensibilities. As a liberal, I possess the sort of intellect which enables me to know that what you see as a cruel jibe at a beloved figure is actually a clever and nuanced statement on today's media-saturated society. However, should my actions begin to attract enough negative attention to actually make me look bad (at least bad enough to where market share may begin to suffer) then, as a liberal, I will simply suggest that Irwin got what he deserved and that I am, in fact, defending the rights of animals to live free and untainted by human interference...which you would have realized if you were as smart as me."

Tool.

You know, I used to like Bill Maher, way back when he was a comedic actor and not spewing his particularly noxious brand of lefty commentary.

Although I don't watch his HBO show, I do find it interesting that Maher feels four liberals versus one conservative is a fair fight. Are their ideas so weak that it takes four of them to equal the candle power of one average conservative? I doubt Billy would admit to that.

Only in America could someone go from D.C. Cab opposite Mr. T. and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death opposite Shannon Tweed to being one of the premiere mouthpieces for the Left.

What If They Win

From Jane Hamsher at Firedoglake:

First of all — I don't care if John Kerry was eating live babies on TV, one week out from an election you do not repeat GOP talking points. Ever. It makes you look like a big pussy who can't stand up to the Republicans, even when they're playing from an exceptionally weak hand on an issue you own.

Of course. After all, what's a few babies when we have an election to win?

From the Kosfather himself:

Thats the way you show strength. That's the way you beat back bullies. That's the way you win in America. Not by going around whining about "apologies" and worried that Rove and his Republican bullies might say "boo!"

All you hand-wringers -- grow some cojones or get the frak out of our way.

Somebody botches a joke. Big fucking deal. Laugh at those who would make it an issue, kick them in the shin for good measure, then move on.

Sure, why apologize for a "botched" joke that insulted our troops. BFD! After all, we have an election to win!

All over the blogosphere, lefty blogs are ranting about Kerry having to apologize when he was, in fact, right - the military is overwhelmingly populated by underschooled idiots with damn few options.

You can almost feel their desire to drop the pretenses and just say, "Why are you talking about the troops? We have an election to win!"

At what point do we begin to wonder about the true intentions of people who crave power - crave control - this much?

For the past six years, they've talked about offering us a new course, about returning America to its former glory. But their actions and their attitude convey a different message - it's inconceivable to them that they are not in control, and they simply must do whatever they can to remedy that situation.

As we continue counting down to E-Day, they know the only thing standing between them and the total domination they seek are a few Red State rubes who don't have enough sense to know when they're not being properly governed.

I might have been content in the past to accept the idea of the Democrats taking over Congress; on an intellectual level, one has to understand that is always a possibility. But the world we live in today doesn't inspire me to be that practical. I can't afford to place my trust in a group of people who won't be happy until American is just another bit player on some global stage instead of the lead. Until our society becomes one bizarre, giant hive-mind, programmed to slavishly follow their twisted socialist doctrines.

Am I being paranoid? Would things really be as bad as that? Hell, we're already on our way there, it's just that most people can't or won't see it.

I'm sure at one time the Romans thought they'd last forever. So too the Persians, the Egyptians, the British. That is the way of the world - everything eventually ends.

And that end has to start somewhere.

The Joke, Take 2

MSNBC reports that John Kerry has cancelled most of his campaign appearances in the wake of his comments at the Angelides rally. The article also gives us the joke which Kerry regretfully "misspoke" as an insult to the troops:

A Kerry spokeswoman, Amy Brundage, said Kerry’s prepared text had called for him to say: “Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush.”

Sorry, but I call bullshit. After the reaction his actual comment got, it's way too easy to trot someone out a day later and have them say "this is what the Senator meant to say". Besides, it's still suggesting that the penalty for being dumb is getting elected President.

That certainly doesn't say much for Kerry himself considering his own Presidential ambitions. It sort of makes sense, though. You'd have to be pretty stupid not to be able to get this crappy joke right to begin with.

John Kerry Is A Moron

Honestly, what else is there to say?

While at a Pasadena Community College campaign rally for Democratic gubernatorial candidate Phil Angelides, John Kerry said the following:

You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.

So, according to Kerry, if you're smart you'll have options in life. If you're not, then joining the military and shipping out to Iraq is pretty much all you have to look forward to. Which I suppose suggests all of our troops currently deployed in Iraq are uneducated losers. Seems pretty clear cut to me. I mean, I can't see how you can read that statement any other way.

Apparently, I'm wrong.

Now, Kerry is saying he botched a joke - that he wasn't insulting the troops, he actualy meant to insult President Bush! What's more, Kerry says Bush knows that's what he meant to do, and to suggest otherwise is more "despicable Republican attacks". The entire statement is chock full of handler-speak, calculated right down to the last period.

The only thing missing, I'm sure, is a finger wagging.

So John Kerry was admonishing a crowd of college students to study hard and do well in school, because the alternative is...becoming President of the United States and initiating hostilities in a foreign country with the support of Congress?!?

Oh, I get it now.

Heh.

Update: Ace of Spades has the same take on Kerry's "stay in school" message. Great minds think alike...except of course Ace actually has a readership while I'm pretty much just talking to myself here.