Monday, June 04, 2007

Paris Hilton Jail Watch - Day 1

Paris Hilton is officially behind bars. She reported to the Century Regional Detention Center is Lynwood, CA around 10:30 p.m.

Hilton surrendered to sheriff's deputies after making a surprise visit to the MTV Movie Awards in the afternoon.

"I am trying to be strong right now," she told reporters on the red carpet. "I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's really helpful."

Courage, Paris. Courage! But wait, it gets better.

With Paris' "people" on image red alert, we get what has to be the quote of the century from Hilton (and she's said a lot of stupid things over the years):

"I did have a choice to go to a pay jail," Hilton said Sunday, without giving details. "But I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I'm not and that's why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I'm going to be treated like everyone else. I'm going to do the time, I'm going to do it the right way."

You know, Paris should really think about going into politics; she's positively "Hillaryesque" in her belief that people will believe anything that comes spewing out of her mouth. How do the words "I'm going to be treated like everyone else" come out of Paris Hilton's mouth without her tongue bursting into flame? We already know the judge in her case ruled out the option of a pay jail (Paris must assume we pay as little attention to the details as she does). As for doing the time and doing it the right way - well, I don't know too many people who get half their sentence dropped for "good behavior" before they've had an opportunity to demonstrate any good behavior.

Being housed in a special needs wing and getting the celebrity treatment makes a three-week stint in county jail about as grueling as a camping trip. If incarceration was like that for everybody, it's value as a deterrent would be about 0%.

As for the media portraying Paris as some spoiled, empty-headed, amoral snob with no sense of right or wrong? Well, there's a difference between the media portraying Paris' behavior and the media reporting Paris' behavior. Since I'm sure that subtle distinction would be lost on her, allow me to put it another way: Paris, you are a spoiled, empty-headed, amoral snob with no sense of right or wrong. And no amount of time in "celebrity jail camp" will convince me otherwise.

Considering that Paris will be trying mightily to cash in on this and make it pay off for her, I hope the rest of America stays just as resolute.

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